Worse Then Death
by Ziny-DiNozzo
Summary: SECOND IN THE 'FOLLOWING ROSE' SERIES Rose's thoughts as she falls towards to void. 10/Rose, Rose/Jack


**The second in the 'Following Rose' series. This is a one-shot and set between Headaches patr 3 and Lies.**

Worse Then Death

Rose smiled over at the Doctor as the wind wiped her hair over her face, the Daleks screaming as they flew to the void. Sparks flew as the lever started slipping out of place.

'Offline' said the cool female voice,

"Hold on!" yelled the Doctor as Rose stretched trying to pull the machine online again. She groaned as she let lost grip and grabbed the lever. She cried as she pulled the machine online again.

"I've gotta get up right!" She yelled, she looked over at the Doctor worriedly and saw his expression of terror.

'Online and locked'

"Rose, hold on!" the Doctor yelled again as Rose felt the void pulling her in. Time seemed to slow down. Slowly, bit by bit her fingers slipped She felt her heart breaking. Her tears being ripped from her face by the void. Her heart beat thumped in her chest.

"HOLD ON!"

"_Ahh!_" She yelled just as she lost grip completely and flew towards the void. She looked at the Doctor.

_This_ She thought _is worse then death._

"_ROOOOOOSSE!_" The look on his face made her hurt. She was used to pain, physical pain, mental pain, emotional pain, but this, this was so much worse. This was the end, the void, the only thing that could separate her from the man she loved. As she flew to her non-existence she realised how wrong people were.

They say before death you see your life flash before your eyes but this was wrong. She watched as though on an old projector clips from her life but from a third POV. Flickering black and white clips of her first kiss, her first job, her first date, her and Mickey mucking around before she went to Henricks, then in a slightly firmer picture a dank cellar a young innocent girl preparing for an unimaginable death, a hand taking hers a word whispered, an action followed, she ran. She ran for her life with the stranger she trusted.

Dancing with a handsome man next to the face of Big Ben; laughing and flirting with the conning captain. Dwelling over the romance of the situation and stretching it beyond proportion.

Love. Pure and simple, undiscovered love. Laying in bed with her second choice arm wrapped over a pregnant stomach, protecting the unknowing from it and protecting it from the unknown.

Then gold colour. Yellow and pink and brown. The singing, the beautiful singing. Surrounding her, being her, dancing with her, flowing through her. The gold, the good, the power, the love.

"_I looked into the Tardis, and the Tardis looked into me." Murmurs the song mysterious and beautiful._

"_You looked into the Time Vortex. Rose no one's meant to see that!"_

"_THIS IS THE ABOMINATION!"_

"_EXTERMINATE." The song protects all that is good, forcing the death back. Twisting and turning the song flows on._

"_I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words. I scatter them- in time and space." The song waves a hand over the words and throws them through the universes. "A message to lead myself here."_

"_Rose, you've got to stop this. You've got to stop this now. You've got the entire Vortex running trough your head, you're gonna burn!"_

_The song turns sharply looking directly at him, her eyes showing the desires of Rose. "I want you safe. My Doctor." He stared at her disbelieving. "Protected from the false god."_

"_YOU CAN NOT HURT ME. I AM IMMORTAL."_

"_You are tiny." Sneers the song; Rose's stubborn glare helping the gold one more. "I can see the whole of Time and Space, every single atom of your existence and I divide them." They raise a hand and swoop over them smothering the existence of all in their way. _

"_Everything must come to dust." And the atoms split fraying and cremating. The song washes over them all stopping all that needs to be stopped, Rose hidden once more. "All things, everything dies." The song raises her hands spreading the death throughout the universe killing her enemy the ones that might've stopped her. "The Time War ends."_

"_I WILL NOT DIE. I CAN NOT DIE!"_

"_Rose, you've done it, now stop. Just let go!"_

"_How can I let go of this? I bring life." The song sweeps over the brave captain and embraces him. _

"_This is wrong! You can't control life and death!"_

"_But I can." The brown melts through the gold staring deep in to his soul. "The Sun and the Moon, the day and night. Why do they hurt?" Her voice wavers pain taking over._

"_The power's gonna kill ya, and it's my fault!"_

"_I can see everything." Tears fell through the song, Rose felt emptiness inside as the song over-powered her insides. More tears slipt through seeking guidance against the new found pain. "All that is, all that was, all that ever could be."_

"_That's what I see. All the time. And doesn't it drive you mad?"_

"_My head." The brown's come through as the gold burns it. _

"_Come 'ere." Her hands are taken,_

"_It's killing me." The song turns, mourning itself._

"_I think you need a doctor." Lips on lips, the pressure releases the pain. The song travels from one to another, then back to her home. Blown into her heart and soul the song reaches out and sings. _

Depression so deep, so strong. She could die. Could die of the heart ache. Dead. Her Doctor, her lover, her child. All dead, and all she had was a misunderstanding mother, a jealous sort of, kinda ex-boyfriend and a stranger sleeping in Howard's pyjamas.

The pain consumed her, squashed in her own mind. At first she'd hated Cassandra. But that was quick to change.

"_Oh just larking about, New Earth, New me." Rose felt her mouth move her voice used she saw the Doctor grinning. _

"_New new Doctor." He laughed._

"_Aren't you just." Then she felt her arms move run through the soft silkiness of his hair. She felt his surprise, and his lips slightly open as she felt Cassandra run her tongue in his mouth. Her hips thrusted backwards and forwards. And in that moment Rose decided she loved Cassandra. Sure this would bring up awkward situations later but Rose knew she'd never get the guts to kiss him on her own call._

Darkness. So dark. Why was it dark? Why couldn't she open her eyes? Where was she? She tried to talk.

"…"

She sighed- or tried to. She didn't seem to have a mouth to sigh with. Or a nose- or eyes. She could feel a blanket being lifted from her head. Heard voices, heard _him_. She heard his sorrow, his pain.

"_Rose."_

"_You know her?"_

"_Know her? She-" Rose felt the Doctor's breath on the skin hiding her face, the conversation between two unknown voices distant and unimportant._

"_DOCTOR! DOCTOR! DOCTOR!" But it was no use; she couldn't call out to him. She didn't even have control of her own limbs._

"_They did what?" Said the Doctor his voice full of pain,_

"_I'm sorry?"_

"_They left her where?"_

"_Just, in a street."_

"_In a street... They left her in a street. They took her face and just chucked her out and left her in the street." His voice was full of disgust, anger, and offence. "And as a result that makes things simple, very, very simple. Do you know why?"_

"_No."_

"_Because now Detective Inspector Bishop, there's no power on this _**earth** _that can stop me! Come on!" _

Kissing him. His lips on hers, her tongue on his. Making sweet and beautiful love to the man she would give her life to. Sending him waves of love through the weak telepathic skills, receiving more back.

Holding hands with her lover as they walked along the road. Fireworks crackled and fizzed above them. Rose looked up at the fireworks.

"_You know what? They keep on trying to split us up, but the never ever will."_

"_Never say never ever." _That was only a week ago. Rose wished with all her might she hadn't said that.

They went to a beautiful planet the creatures soared through the skies Rose stood next to him gazing at the view.

"_How long are you gonna stay with me?" He asked, _

_Rose looked at him and said in complete truth, "Forever."_

But then the movie stopped. In all its glory the film of her true meaning ended, she felt the wind hitting her skin pulling her to her death. Heard the screams of her lover. Saw the heart brake in his eyes.

"AIGH!" She yelled back. Wanted him to know how much this hurt her, how much she loved him.

Rose flew straight into a pair of unfamiliar arms. Pete had come back and grabbed her barely two feet from the void. She turned and looked up to see the Doctor yelling in horror, and pain screaming for the one he loved. Then the room changed. The wind had stopped. The Doctor was gone the room was dark and depressing. Rose cried, she ran to the wall and hit it.

"Take me back!! Take me back!!!" She yelled slamming her arm against the wall. Tears fell down her face but she let them. She had to get back to him, he was her everything. Her one and only. "Take me back!" She sobbed her shoulders shaking, she heard Pete talking.

"It's stopped working. He did it. He closed the breach."

Then she felt him. Sensed him and knew he was there on her world exactly. She flattened herself against the wall. Tears ran down her face and she thought with all her might, her mind completely open and defenceless _I love you. Doctor, my Doctor I love you._

She felt his pain and his love but then he slipped away. She stood against the wall and cried, trying to control her self, taking deep breaths.

She stood straight and walked past her mother, Mickey, and Pete. She walked slowly but purposefully, walked to the Powell Estates, sitting on the familiar yet alien concrete and cried for hours, not moving when she saw Jackie watching her from the nearby park, not moving when she heard Mickey sit down next to her and put his arm around her shoulder, not moving when she saw Pete trying to soothe Jackie whilst on his mobile, not moving when a limousine pulled up and asked for Mickey, Pete, Jackie, and Rose, not moving when night fell and the stars and moon twinkled above her, taunting her. Not moving when she woke up to a policemen telling her to get out of the Estate if she didn't live there and find somewhere else to sleep, not moving the next day when Jackie came with tea and told her it wasn't that different to her world and maybe this world would have a Doctor too. Not moving until it finally sank in; the Doctor could never come for her.

_This _She thought _is worse then death._


End file.
